"State hypothesis' as FACTS."

"Always act as a suprior source" (I'd be hesistant to consider anyone superior to me who can't succesfully type the word 'superior' )

"Always include a false link within you post, to frighten them that "this information might be true", this enforces the believablity of your Troll."

Anyways, here 'tis...

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You might all be asking the question, "Why do have a board dedicated to Trolling?" One must first think, "What is the purpose of Trolling?"

Trolling in itself is moderation of metal tradition enforced by the hands of the fans. Trendies, shitheads, form faggots, production pussies, melodic mongoloids- all of these exist coverted into the metal community (even on ANUS.com). Our job as "Trolls" if you will is force our guilty pleasures into abeyance so that our emotions- through words, act as a human filter for the metal community.

Trolling is the answer to the problems of the metal community. ANUS.com has the biggest webring on the internet. This allows the uninformed community a presage to the evil assault that is metal. ANUS.com, itself can be considered a mass-communication troll in itself. Trolling- the action- is our chance to take what ANUS has started, and further it, through elitism/wise-cracks/smartass remarks/hurtful comedy etc etc.

How does one go about Trolling? It's an easy process, but there are a few prerequisites one must consider before attempting to troll and board or a person.

Self-Purification:
1) Your mind must be in a state of utter pride, and blind hate.
2) You must be sure about your views and opinions of metal. No guitly pleasure exceptions, no reasoning within yourself.
3) You must be a hateful person. You must be able to look at someone outside of your window, and think of five things about that person off the top of your head, that if you brought to light, to them, would make them cry.
4) You must be a quick thinker. You must be prepared for every sitation. If you screw up, you must be able to cover yourself, and get back on the hate-track.
5) You must make Trolls lengthy enough to get the point across to your victim and audience alike, but short enough to let your victim dwell upon what has been said- and to keep your nihilistic portrayal fresh in his/her/the mass board mind.
6) You must prepare for your troll. IE: research possible topics that might arise as well as well as the topic at hand. *This is crutial*
For example: I didn't troll the "Hardcore Message Board" because I do not listen to Hardcore, nor have I ever heard Hardcore Music in my life. Stay away from these situations. Avoidance in this area is key to prevent a failed troll.

How do I Troll a single person?

1) It's best to start off "playing along" with the person. You draw out more idiocy along with that.
2) Keep your wit very sharp, make sarcastic comments during the troll, but not too obvious as to make them think you're really mocking them.
3) Midway through the troll, when the idiocy goes over the top, just start destroying him, pointing out his idiocy, making wise cracks toward him, mock him, make him look like an idiot.
4) Never loose your sense of humor
5) Make sure, before you post a Troll, that you've decided that it's a worthwhile Troll, and that the right communication is being bitransfered.
7) Never Troll a person who proves to be a knowledgeful person. If this happens, end the troll, but don't apologize. Apologies are for In Flames fans.

How do I Troll a message board?

1) Make sure you know the topic
2) Connect their most popular topic of discussion with the most embarrasing situation, or covert status a person might have.
3) State hypothesis' as FACTS.
4) Never Troll a board that is worthwhile, just for fun.
5) Don't be an idiot.
6) Make sure you watch a few episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" before Trolling a message board.
7) Always act as a suprior source
8) Always include a false link within you post, to frighten them that "this information might be true", this enforces the believablity of your Troll.
9) Never come off as an aggressive idiot, those are inferior Slipknot-fan trolls
10) If you must be straightfoward in your Troll, just think W.W.P.S.: What would Prozak say?
11) When posting your Troll on the Dark Legions Archive, always Copy/Paste your first Troll message onto the Dark Legions post, so if the knumb-skull moderators decide to delete it, we can still see what you've said

A few key elements you might want to bring to light during a Troll.

- their inability to support their topic
- their unlearned judgement of music
- their limited knowledge of music
- the fact that they only use "leave me alone" because they are merely 'running away' from you, they are cowards, with no balls.
- use every ounce of stupidity they/or the website's board had displayed AGAINST them with no exceptions.
- you are not Trolling to make friends, you are vigilantes enforcing Det Som Engang Var.

quote:

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Originally posted by Delightful Little Capuchin Monkey:
In the interest of getting to the bottom of the wonderfully interesting posts from Neoclassical (Prozak) and Planetary Eulogy (who may or may not be Prozak - who cares, though), please read the following. These are the guidelines to successful trolling, as written up by 'Soulside Journey', an ANUS follower. Thanks to Warcorpse to providing the link to this page in a post made over a year ago......

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Over a year ago.

This one should always be available, somewhere.

Thank you guys; "Delightful Little Capuchin Monkey" and Warcorpse. Feeling relieved.

quote:

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Originally posted by Delightful Little Capuchin Monkey:
What, no thoughts on your pal Prozak's trolling methods? Not at all disturbed by the fact that he espouses the presenting of theories as fact, et al? Ah, I know. You don't want to rock the boat. He'll be over for scones and tea and a little discussion of the difference between Thrash Metal and Power Metal at your bachelor pad this weekend.

P.S. Monkeys do rule. Don't scoff. Not only could they beat you in a chessmatch, they can also chuck a tire about 100 yards further than your puny girl arms* could. Doubter.

*No disrepect to my sisters - "girl arms" is a funny expression

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lycanthropy:
PE, is that another "hypothesis as fact"? It's interesting to note eerily similar patterns in the recent posts of you and your comrade, and the "rules" posted above. Oh dear. That one collapsed quickly, didn't it?

Lemurs are cool.

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They are only interested in weak-minded fools and enlisting more sheep for their cause. Sad to see Kula has fallen in with the flock.

Everybody knows that the only thing that comes from an ANUS is waste. This is no exception.

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quote:

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Originally posted by X-D:
[QB]Engaging in a debate with the ANUS-folk is about as productive as striking up a convo with a telemarketer or inviting those door-to-door bible-thumpers in for some tea.QB]

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I did that once - invited a couple of Mormon missionaries in for tea. We had a nice little bible reading session and they left quite happy. They were supposed to come back in a week or so...guess I forgot to mention that I was moving. Oops. I'm soooo going to hell.

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quote:

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Originally posted by MadMeg:
I'm soooo going to hell.

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Aren't we all?
"I'm going to hell! I'm going to hell, with the monkeys and the lemurs." (sing in your best sing-song voice!)

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quote:

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Originally posted by Knickerzohnonnof:
There's just one thing about your posts that stinks of hypothesis...EVERYTHING.

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Care to back that up with evidence, or are you just hoping you can walk it by on assertion alone?

quote:

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You are presenting the truth as you see it.

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How is this different from what YOU or anyone else does? How can anyone EVER do more than present the truth as they see it? Objectivity is a philosophical unattainable, perceived truth is the best you're ever going to get. So drop the pose kid.

quote:

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Example: Holocaust. You would consider the testimony of tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of people from many different nations who CONSISTENTLY bear witness to Nazi treatment of the Jews as speculation?

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Tens of thousands, nay BILLIONS of people have also attested to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, must I accept their fables too?

There are thousands of "witnesses" to alien landings and abductions, should we accept their stories uncritically?

More to the point, while tens of thousands have attested to the presence of and horrid conditions in Nazi internment camps (which I have not disputed anywhere), the pool of witnesses to the "death camps" is much, much smaller, and has a vested political (and often financial) interest in perpetuating the received tradition. Does that mean that they are lying? Of course not, it does mean that uncritically accepting their testimony isn't the course of intellectual honesty.

quote:

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What I would say though is that far too many people, some with no interest to gain and much to lose, former German Soldiers for example, gave chilling accounts of what they saw, and in many cases, did.

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The "witches" of the Burning Times usually confessed to their "crimes" too. It doesn't make them real.

quote:

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And the post that started this thread about the Anus code to trolling? You post that neither yourself or Prozak had any hand in writing it? This may be true, but also highly misleading as this little snippiet from that very thread shows...

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By that logic, the fact that you posted in the Holocaust thread with me would make you as responsible for the "sin" of Holocaust Denial as I am.

quote:

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Originally posted by portuga:

Made in USA
Yes, that's true, portuga. I live in the state the above atrocity was made. The place where the first atomic bomb was detonated is about 1 1/2 hours drive south from Albuquerque...Trinity Site.

Hiroshima and Nagasaki

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lycanthropy:
Actually, 'terrorism', as I believe I've said before, has been around since conflicts began. Of course, it's taken different forms over time. Hold their king to ransom, rape their women, steal their possessions. Still terrorism. It wasn't 'invented by Israel'. I'm not defending the actions of either side in that conflict, as both practice tactics of terror - blowing up buses, detonating cars in crowded places, building walls and bulldozing houses. All the same.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Planetary Eulogy:
By that logic, the fact that you posted in the Holocaust thread with me would make you as responsible for the "sin" of Holocaust Denial as I am.

The "rules" were written by Soulside Journey, a poster who hasn't even appeared on the ANUS forums in months. Attributing them to me or Prozak is farcical in the extreme.

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Please re-read the post numb nuts. I shall give it to you in nice, bite sized chunks so it doesn't overload the family brain cell.

quote:

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And the post that started this thread about the Anus code to trolling? You post that neither yourself or Prozak had any hand in writing it?

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This is me introducing the argument.

quote:

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This may be true,

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This is me agreeing you did not write the rules. With me so far?

quote:

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but also highly misleading

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This basically says that it isn't the entire truth. You know, the truth economics I referred to earlier? Or is that stretching the brain cell a bit further than it can manage?

quote:

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little snippiet from that very thread shows...

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At this point I will produce the evidence. I think this is cear enough for any single celled creature.

quote:

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srp
unregistered

posted 26-04-2003 20:51
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The metal community as a whole is already degraded beyond belief.
Ideotrolling, or using trolling to attract attention to suppressed ideological issues, is highly relevant.

I use this technique to call attention to our abuse of nature, with various guises: Nazi-troll, Marxist-troll, MTV-kid-trolls, etc.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Now I will explain my evidence. This post clearly states that prozak actually uses trolls and the rules stated within the thread in an attempt to confuse and mislead other readers. Am I clear now? Does this register within the void where grey matter allegedly resides?

I shall explain again. I did NOT say that Prozak was responsible for the text. What is clear though is that he actively supports and uses the tactics himself, as do you. Now, this is true truth economics, and why I, nor anybody else, believes a single word your fingers type. Your cover is blown fuckwit. Now go back to your anal cave with all your other simialrly cerebally depleted idiots.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Number 6:
.........Good job Portuga.

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Now, let's see. The rulez these "ANUS" is using..Oh yeah, I only have to copy and past some of them.

quote:

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How do I Troll a single person?
....................
4) Never loose your sense of humor
5) Make sure, before you post a Troll, that you've decided that it's a worthwhile Troll, and that the right communication is being bitransfered.
7) Never Troll a person who proves to be a knowledgeful person. If this happens, end the troll, but don't apologize. Apologies are for In Flames fans.
............

A few key elements you might want to bring to light during a Troll.

- their inability to support their topic
- their unlearned judgement of music
- their limited knowledge of music
- the fact that they only use "leave me alone" because they are merely 'running away' from you, they are cowards, with no balls.
- use every ounce of stupidity they/or the website's board had displayed AGAINST them with no exceptions.
- you are not Trolling to make friends, you are vigilantes enforcing Det Som Engang Var

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He, you're gonna try with "Portuga" now. He's way to smart for you.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Planetary Eulogy:
Actually, all that it "clearly" states is that Prozak trolls. Not that he uses the tactics outlined by SJ. Not even that he agrees with the premises outlined by SJ. Only that he engages in the activity that SJ seeks to establish "rules" for.

I would think even a subsimian like yourself would be able to recognize the distinction, but alas, my faith was misplaced.

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So when Prozak says 'ideotrolling is highly relevant' and 'I use this technique' this isn't support or agreement for the tactics underlined by Soulside journey? Ah now I see why anus.com (throbbing) members are so full of their own excrement. You can't even see the logic in front of your eyes! I do delcare that anus members suffer from truth constipation as well.

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quote:

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Example: Holocaust. You would consider the testimony of tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of people from many different nations who CONSISTENTLY bear witness to Nazi treatment of the Jews as speculation?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tens of thousands, nay BILLIONS of people have also attested to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, must I accept their fables too?

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Oh, so the Holocaust is a fable now is it?

Excellent, must reserve that one for my nephews and nieces at bedtime...

Anal probe required for PE...severe discharge problem detected.

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quote:

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Originally posted by portuga:
Made in USA

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