According to a recent article in the French economic journal Blaaze'* the latest indicators of financial activity are measured by a new barometer known as the stagnodeflation index.This indicator measures the amount of inflation occurring in the economy against the average decrease in real wage earnings.
Once that figure is reached, financial analysts using this index multiply it by the amount of quality products in the weekly market number which determines consumer spending.
Restaurants, movie theatres, groceries, coffee houses and other non-major purchases.
The latest figures are staggering. According to Blaaze', the stagnodeflation index in America measures minus one hundred and twenty percent(-120%).
That translates, experts say, into an economy
"perpetually screwed" as Americans with less money to spend, realize there is nothing in the market they want- no movie, no concert, no new product, not even a "frigging Starbucks," said one analyst.
"Americans are feeling that all the consumerism is a shallow empty experience and that Starbucks just gives them the shits," says one economist, choosing to remain nameless.
This spells doom for a market with a Starbucks and movie theatres on every corner.
"No one gives a shit about Ben Affleck and Jay-Lo kissing onscreen let alone a 70 year old Sean Connery punching out bad-guys," it simply is embarassing," says the scholar.
Consumerism in America now accounts for 2/3 of economic activity.
"You'd have to be on crack to buy any of that shit. Oh, sorry," he says apologetically.
The French are proud of their new economic index.
"We wanted to call it deflation fries, but the sponsors of our grant wouldn't let us."
*This article, copyright 2003* Blaaze' inc.