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Topic: Worst Movie?
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Emlyn K Helicopter
VoivodFan
Member # 44
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posted September 18, 2002 18:29
Ok, cheap shot. But whats the all-time shitty film you've ever watched?Anything with Michael Caine in it doesn't count. I nearly walked out of American Pie 2 as it was so relentlessly shite, but then it got better towards the end. I stopped the video of Gummo half-way through and wanted to find and kill the fucking scum-cunt who made it, but then I like cats. Seeing depictions of them strung up and beaten is WAY over the line - fuck free speach if it comes to that! But worst of all? Well, I though the second Care Bears film sucked compared to the majesty of the original.
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Nuclear Vampire
VoivodFan
Member # 20
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posted September 18, 2002 21:47
I'm going to have to agree with King Kula Shaker. I can't fucking stand Julia Roberts. Meg and Sandra are at least nice to look at, but that horse-faced Roberts chick makes me ill. Pretty Woman and that horrible slab of pap The Runaway Bride are pretty damn close to being the worst of all time. I was going to say that the Police Academy movies are the worst, but even they have a few slightly funny gags in them (like the guy getting his head stuck in the horse's ass). Then I toght of any number of movies written specifically to cash in on some kind of trend (or start one) like Hot Dog-The Movie (skiing), Days Of Thunder (racing), or that other unbelievably lousy turd Cocktail (also featuring Tom Cruise who is up there in the running for worst big-name actor of all time). In keeping with that theme, the movie that I deem to be the absolute worst pile of shite ever to disgrace the silver screen would have to be... Footloose
I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!!! Close second is Dirty Dancing, followed by Grease and of course Flashdance. My wife loves them and it seems that one of them is on TV at just about any given time. I'll be flipping channels and she yells "Stop!" coz Patrick Swayze is teaching that under age slut how to lambada to some of the shittiest music ever recorded on channel 33. Ugh. Makes my fuckin' balls retract into my gut. I tink I'm either going to be violently ill, or I'm going to crank up Michael Sembello's "Maniac" and slash my wrists over the toilet. Btw, I liked Gummo.
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Skul
VoivodFan
Member # 19
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posted September 18, 2002 22:53
I hated Mudholland Drive as well, though i knew what to expect when i saw "David Lynch" on the box. And i pretty much watched it on fastforwards the whole time. But i cant think of a really bad movie cuz sometimes it's so bad that it's good (Ghoulies, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, KISS Meets the Phantom of The Park, etc...)Come to think of it, Vanilla Sky sucked ASS! Lynch can get away with doin' "clever" movies cuz he's fuckin' David Lynch. But Vanilla Sky fails big time at being clever. It,s just wrong. ...and i hated Lord of The Rings, too. Shoot me. Anything with Steven Segal and Robert Williams has "SUCK" written all over it.
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Ynys Trebes
VoivodFan
Member # 55
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posted September 20, 2002 18:18
The worse movies I've seen recently are: 1. Moulin Rouge (i stopped the VCR after 45 minutes) 2. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (i know i'm gonna get flamed for this one but I just couldn't stand that flying around) 3. Blade (don't care to see Blade II thanks you very much) Let the flaming begin!!!
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Mezcalhead
VoivodFan
Member # 26
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posted September 21, 2002 06:33
What do you mean, like YAYA Sisterhood(yeah, we know you saw that one Miss Noitall)? Ha, ha.Mr. Helicopter has started a thread on a quest I started many years ago. What is the worst movie? What characteristics should a movie have to make it not just annoying or trite but downright NASTY. I believe the magic component has to do with the filmmaker. He/she has to be someone who actually believes he/she is constructing an epic. Like they're really adding something to that genre. Now I happen to be a big fan of western movies. I love them all. From the earliest b's to Clint. What was this thread about? Oh yeah, bad movies. Well, a while back my Pops loaned me a film that I thought from just looking at the cover looked rough but was still watchable. The name of the film: GRAYEAGLE, directed by legendary western dude Charles B. Pierce. I pushed play and was immediately delighted to see the old Indian Iron Eyes Cody listed. Ya'll remember him from those anti-littering commercials in the seventies, right, where he starts to cry? Cody plays Standing Bear, a happy go lucky redskin sambo who helps out an old trapper and his daughter on the Wyoming frontier back in the 1870's. What adds to this film is the daughter played by Lana Wood. This has to be the absolute worst performance by a woman in film I've ever seen. She was Natalie's younger sister and also a Playmate(her bod the only asset she had). Anyway, Lana the daughter gets kidnapped from the cabin by the mysterious GRAYEAGLE one day and the shit hits the fan. The ol' trapper and Standing Bear set out to find her and its downhill from there. You people have got to see this thing. Its incredible in its badness. There are pauses between dialog(fantastic in its pedestrian blandness). The ol' Trapper orders Standing Bear around like a dog. The fight scene between Grayeagle and his nemesis Sklar is a slow motion whirlwind of terrifying horse action on water. Really bad humor by Jack Elam. I could go on and on. Anybody who wants a copy of this please let me know(Emlyn?) Its great for parties or other social events. Kula, your copy is being made as we speak.
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