On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'
'About 32,' is the reply.
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies,'I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay...How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts,removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was
incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't,' she says.

'I was behind you in McDonald's.'

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A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

"To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be upset. I shall be back home before midnight."

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

"To My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college.
I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Ritz Carlton with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference. 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow."

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