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Author Topic: Funny Europe observations...
K
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Member # 6

posted April 25, 2007 02:08     Profile for K   Email K     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
...from THE ACACIA STRAIN.
I dont know who this band is, but Vincent Bennett's observations while in the U.K. struck me as quite funny. So i thought to post it here.


This is from Blabbermouth.

::::::

Massachusetts' THE ACACIA STRAIN is currently on the road in the United Kingdom as direct support to HATEBREED, promoting the band's latest release, "The Dead Walk". Frontman Vincent Bennett has issued the following update from the road:

"I know it's taken me forever, but here are some things from THE ACACIA STRAIN's first trip to Europe:

* Everyone speaks English, but I can hardly understand anything anyone says. Between the heaviness of the accent, and the slang, it's almost impossible. 'Cheers, mate' is said to me about 600 times a day.

* Everyone here rolls their own cigarettes. My first day here I thought everyone was smoking weed, and one kid told me that he came to America and got 'nabbed by the coppers' because they thought he was rolling a joint. Smoking age = 16. And yes, they do call cigarettes 'fags' here...and no, it's still not funny.

* There is a whole lot of 'rapeseed' growing everywhere at all times. I don't know what it is used for, but I do know that it's fucking yellow and smells like shit. I'm not quite sure where it got its name, but I am sure that the word "rape" has meant rape since before they named the stupid plant.

* There are roundabouts every five fucking feet.

* I was pretty sure they used the metric system over here, which they do... but they still use miles and feet…but that's it. They buy their gas in litres, but they have to drive a mile to get it.

* One out of every five girls here is taller than me.

* Drinking is a way of life here, bars open at like 9 a.m. And the drinking age here is 18, which doesn't really matter, because they don't really ID anyone. So, it's like a high school party everywhere.

* Our money isn't worth shit anywhere; a British pound is worth $2.11

* No Taco Bell.

::::::

There were a couple of points that made me think of H and EKH. lol!


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Hellrider
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posted April 25, 2007 07:21     Profile for Hellrider   Email Hellrider     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
LOL! It all rings true! Well, apart from the "speak English but I don't understand" bit - it's mutual, mate

--------------------

"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." - R. A. Dickson


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shargraves
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posted April 26, 2007 11:08     Profile for shargraves   Email shargraves     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
ha ha - quite amusing!

we drink ALL the time in europe! and we are the best at it in the UK

If I was in france I'd have drank a bottle of wine by now for lunch, if I was in spain - I'd be asleep now.

Taking it easy is a life option.

Here in the UK we see europe as a foreign place by and large, I guess being an island, the UK will always have that barrier!

ste

--------------------

Steven Hargraves
Rhythm Guitar in Monstrance
https://www.facebook.com/monstranceofficial


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X-D
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posted April 26, 2007 14:02     Profile for X-D   Email X-D     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Why anyone would miss Taco Bell is beyond me? Vile, disgusting food.

--------------------

I am a robot... bleep blop bloop


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nunoPT
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posted April 26, 2007 19:23     Profile for nunoPT   Email nunoPT     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by shargraves:
ha ha - quite amusing!

we drink ALL the time in europe! and we are the best at it in the UK

If I was in france I'd have drank a bottle of wine by now for lunch, if I was in spain - I'd be asleep now.

Taking it easy is a life option.

Here in the UK we see europe as a foreign place by and large, I guess being an island, the UK will always have that barrier!

ste


zzzzzz ronc *waking up*
shargraves sleeping for lunch?!
*back to sleep* zzzzzzzzzzz


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Hellrider
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posted April 27, 2007 11:11     Profile for Hellrider   Email Hellrider     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
LOL Nuno! Are you in Spain, and did you post at lunchtime?

I wouldn't be able to sleep during the day even if I wanted to, but sure as hell having a short nap is healthier than swallowing a horrible sandwich using the keyboard as a crumb-collecting device while sitting at your desk.

--------------------

"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." - R. A. Dickson


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Slaytanic
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posted April 27, 2007 16:30     Profile for Slaytanic   Email Slaytanic     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by K:
...from THE ACACIA STRAIN.(...)* Everyone speaks English, but I can hardly understand anything anyone says. Between the heaviness of the accent, and the slang, it's almost impossible.

Y'know, being from Brazil I can relate to that guy. There's also some country in Europe where people supposedly speak Portuguese, but I can hardly understand a word as well. Fukkin' accents!

--------------------

"Forty-five moments of perfection translated through a cautionary escape into the perils of the mundane, the inherent entropy in ultimate order, and the potential threats of eternal, unchecked apathy in civilization; all cloaked in musical expression so thoughtful, creative and forward thinking that almost a quarter-century later, few can even comprehend it, much less match it." (autothrall)


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ShredTilDead
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posted April 27, 2007 20:35     Profile for ShredTilDead   Email ShredTilDead     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Some things I discovered when I lived there for a year:

The UK ain't Europe, so the title of this thread should be "Funny UK observations". Miles vs. kilometers, left-side driving vs. right-side, pounds sterling vs. euros, beer vs. wine, food vs. really good food - they're contrary, independent, ornery, and fiercely proud of all of the above. There's even a political movement to "get the UK out of Europe", meaning withdraw from the EU, etc. If you want the "true" Europe experience, go a few miles east and get on the continent itself.

The typical English breakfast consists of cooked tomatoes, baked beans, toast, bacon, etc. Very fatty/fried food, and it's everywhere. I flew from London to Paris for a long weekend, and had a "normal" breakfast for the first time in months: pastries, cheeses, cereal, an egg, fresh fruit, coffee. I never knew what the term "continental breakfast" meant until then.

Taco Bell?! When I lived there, my wife and I stopped by a restaurant that purported to serve "Mexican" food. I ordered a "burrito", which turned out to be a...thing...in an aluminum (sorry, "aluminium") tin. It was all covered in red sauce and cheese. I started eating...tortilla...OK...tomatoes...OK...beans...OK...potato...WTF??!! MEXICAN FOOD DOES NOT HAVE POTATOES, DAMMIT!!!!

"American" food was fun, too. I went to "Fatty Arbuckle's Restaurant" in Milton-Keynes (I think it was in M-K) and ordered a Caesar salad. I got iceberg lettuce with a blob of mayonnaise on top. Not surprising in a restaurant named after a Hollywood director who was most famous for being tried (but not convicted) of rape & murder of a young starlet. Sad story...why the hell did they decide to name a restaurant after him?

There are more roundabouts in the UK than in all the contries of the entire European continent, combined. In the UK, even the roundabouts have mini-roundabouts embedded within them.

The beer is warm. But once you get accustomed to that fact, you'll quickly realilze that English beer kicks the ass of any and all US-produced beer. Mmmmmmmmmm...

Too many women have disfigured themselves with piercings and tattoos. Whatever - it's fashionable these days, I guess. But when you see a bunch of 40-somethings sitting around in a park, barking at each other with their nicotine-damaged voices, all of them with nose-rings and tattoos on their upper arms, it's kinda repulsive. Maybe it's just me, but I prefer women who don't look like sea hags.

Everything's too expensive in the UK. Cars, for example, cost about $5000 more vs. what you'd pay for the same car in France. Is it just because of the right-hand drive/steering-wheel? No. There are now businesses that'll help UK residents purchase a car from the Netherlands, France, Spain, etc. - even right-hand-drive models - and ship them over to the UK. Customers save thousands, even when factoring in the shipping costs. How fucked-up is that?

Pub food is gooooooood. Espunkally the spesher you are.

I once visited Stoke-on-Trent for a weekend. It was during a week of crummy weather, and they have an indoor water-slide park in Stoke. Took my young kids there, had a great time. But outside the building, Stoke-on-Trent is the most depressing place I've seen. Gray everywhere. Ruined factories. The smokestacks that weren't demolished were belching thick black soot 24x7. Lemmy's originally from Stoke, and now I know why he's the way that he is.

The most depressing movie ever made, "Threads", was filmed in the UK.

OK, I'm done for now.

--------------------

My head explodes, my ears ring, I can't remember just where I've been.


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Mezcalhead
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posted April 28, 2007 07:49     Profile for Mezcalhead   Email Mezcalhead     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Hahah...right on Fred! That was great....I've always wanted to go but now I'm not too sure. Of course I've got to make the jaunt one day as there some people there I've got to meet....
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Hellrider
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posted April 28, 2007 14:27     Profile for Hellrider   Email Hellrider     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
OK Fred, I was almost going to quip "Right Said Fred" (I know, ha, ha bloody ha etc...). Then I decided you're at least 40% wrong. Your description reflects only some places and a certain section of society. I'm sure the US has its fair share of horrible places and equally horrible people, yet we shouldn't tar the whole country with the same brush.

You're correct about high prices in this country - but salaries tend to be higher than in the US and the rest of Europe, to compensate. The once huge difference in price for same specification cars compared with the EU is rapidly reducing (market forces at work).

Women with piercings and tattoos - where the hell did you live? Upstairs from a dodgy shop in Camden Town? There are a few women who look like that, as I'm sure there are in every country in the "free" world, but most of us are totally unpierced, and that includes our earlobes.

Stoke on Trent? Milton Keynes? Please. You should try leafy west London before dismissing the UK like that. We've got excellent French, Spanish, Italian and Polish eateries, as well as good beer and good (imported) wine, or so I'm told - as I wouldn't know, being teetotal.

The people who live around here are from all over Europe. I know that the Brits don't feel they're European, but after all, membership of the EU was imposed on this country by the government of the time, in the face of strong disapproval by the general public.

And finally, no, we don't have Taco Bell, thank God, as we're disgusted enough with McDonalds, KFC and all that ubiquitous crap we have imported from - you guess where.

--------------------

"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." - R. A. Dickson


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K
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posted April 29, 2007 12:13     Profile for K   Email K     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
LOL! Fred. I enjoyed that and Hellrider too.
You folks are great!
I agree that too many piercings on anybody is a bad thing.

Taco Bell is NOT and i mean NOT Mexican Food!
The only way for you to get genuine Mexican food is to visit a genuine mexican restaurant in Texas or Mexico itself.
Mexican food is the best food on planet earth in my own taste and opinion.
Its really full of lard and hot spices...will eat a hole in your guts like a bottle of country Russian Vodka.

Everyone here in Croatia are drunk all the time...including myself also.
(I am American...migrated here 3 years ago).
I have learned the correct way of getting drunk before 10am.
Something called RAKIJA! Look it up on Wikipedia if you like.
Love the stuff...but still drink german beer. Croatian beer sucks mostly.

Anyways. I never knew that the U.K. never considered itself "European."
From an American's point of view...the U.K. is lumped-together with everything else that is "Over there".
Its another part of American short-sightedness, sad to say.

Cheers!
**Takes a drink of some Austrian pivo**


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ShredTilDead
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posted April 29, 2007 17:56     Profile for ShredTilDead   Email ShredTilDead     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
I am not, repeat: *not*, slagging the entire UK, even though it might've sounded that way. I started off with a few things I thought were funny and, reading it from the bottom up, went into sad/ugly/depressing things. I apologize if you saw it that way, and can easily understand if you did.

So now I'm gonna talk about really cool UK things, stuff that I really enjoyed vs. the US.

London. The greatest city in the entire world. Walking around all the cool parks, sightseeing, etc., you feel it in your bones - London is the epicenter of civilized society. I've never been to some of the more dodgy areas that people talk about, but I have nothing but great memories of London.

I lived in Oxford. The beauty of that place is beyond words, and so is the surrounding countryside. The fields are bright yellow with oilseed rape. Yes, that's what most people call it, not "rapeseed". Either way, it's used to make canola oil. But I gotta say "oilseed rape" is kinda like "cornkernel murder".

Roadtrips anywhere are beautiful. Well, maybe not Milton-Keynes. I drove all over England, Scotland and Wales, and still didn't see all the stuff I wanted to see.

Did I mention the beer yet? I think so. But it bears repeating because it's so good.

I took my family to lots of parks in the Oxford area, and that's where I got my general impression of sea-hags. I would've written this off if it were a one-shot deal, but every time I went to the parks it was the same thing.

I didn't do as much clubbing when I was there as I would've done in my earlier days (and by "clubbing" I mean going to a night-club and partying, not hitting little baby seals). The times I did get out, however, the women were very nice looking, I have to say. So my earlier observations might have been wide of the mark.

Floating in a boat down the upper Thames (Isis) while quaffing wine, watching the sun go down in the west, is something I'll always remember.

There are so many opportunities for sight-seeing. There are so many castles and cool things there that, given enough sightseeing weekends, you'll actually start taking them for granted after you've walked thru a bunch of them. Imagine that in the US, taking a castle for granted! Of course, we don't have castles in the USA. Nor much in the way of culture, either, but that's a different topic.

Testimony to the fact that I really did enjoy my one-year stay is that I didn't want to move back to the US. I could've easily stayed longer.

If you are from the US, Canada, Australia, or any other former colony, don't wait to visit the UK (you too Mez). If nothing else, it's a pilgrimage that you must make at least once in a lifetime. And I guarantee you'll have a great time!

--------------------

My head explodes, my ears ring, I can't remember just where I've been.


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Hatröss
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Member # 7

posted April 29, 2007 22:42     Profile for Hatröss   Email Hatröss     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by K:
I agree that too many piercings on anybody is a bad thing.

Agreed, one thing i can not stand either is the tattoos on the lower back. I mean what is that ?

'Ladies, tattoos are for men' & 'bones thru noses are for the natives'

I never knew UK did'nt consider themselves europeans. But i guess UK island is their version of our Wash D.C. See the natives in D.C. call themselves washingtonians, they are not a state, they just got voting rights, ect... (so dont hold us responsible)


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Emlyn K Helicopter
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posted April 30, 2007 05:05     Profile for Emlyn K Helicopter   Email Emlyn K Helicopter     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FredKilHead:
If you want the "true" Europe experience, go a few miles east and get on the continent itself.

A few miles east...! Not to us it isn't!

The typical English breakfast consists of cooked tomatoes, baked beans, toast, bacon, etc. Very fatty/fried food

As opposed to the fare one gets in, say, Florida. Healthy portions of bovine hormone-rich reformed mechanically retreaved hoove & jowl 'meat' patties, a gallon of 'instant diabeties' cola and eight metric tons of fries, on a plate the size of what in England would pass as a table.

I'm sure many Americans don't eat this for breakfast EVERY day.

Otherwise, spot on observations! Especially about Stoke. Lovely place, although we would consider the fucked factories as 'heritage sites'.

--------------------

Der der der-der DER! Der der der-der DER! DER!


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Maldororz
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Member # 186

posted April 30, 2007 08:18     Profile for Maldororz   Email Maldororz     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hexonutz:
Pass me another bottle man. I'll never forget Austrian beer - and they don't sell it here in Prohibontario.

*Nelson mode ON*
Ha! Ha! You live in Ontario!
*Nelson mode OFF*

That reminds me when I went to New Brunswick last year and spent 15 minutes looking for beer at the grocery store. Than realizing: they don't sell beer in grocery stores in NB! You have to go to a liquor store... WTF?


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Hellrider
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posted April 30, 2007 08:36     Profile for Hellrider   Email Hellrider     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Thanks for your clarification, Fred. I stress that this is meant to be a good-humoured discussion, not a my-country-is-better-than-yours contest. Comic relief is provided by beer-related interjections courtesy of our drinking friends

--------------------

"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards." - R. A. Dickson


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shargraves
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Member # 575

posted April 30, 2007 08:57     Profile for shargraves   Email shargraves     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hatross:
[QB]Agreed, one thing i can not stand either is the tattoos on the lower back. I mean what is that ? [QB]

Oh dear - thats where you "aim for" when you pull out.

Also known as a tramp stamp. It defines a woman as "easy" argh!

I too am glad that this has remained a lighthearted discussion - you wouldn't get this on IMDB! By now the US and UK would be at eachothers throats like Ann coulter if she got hold of Richard Dawkins.

--------------------

Steven Hargraves
Rhythm Guitar in Monstrance
https://www.facebook.com/monstranceofficial


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NightSod
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Member # 133

posted April 30, 2007 09:57     Profile for NightSod   Email NightSod     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FredKilHead:
...But outside the building, Stoke-on-Trent is the most depressing place I've seen. Gray everywhere. Ruined factories. The smokestacks that weren't demolished were belching thick black soot 24x7. Lemmy's originally from Stoke, and now I know why he's the way that he is...

You say half in jest I'm sure, but I reckon you're even more correct than you realise.

Both Sabbath and Priest cite their upbringing in "The Black Country" as the prime motivation for their musical instincts.
Coal, ironworks, steel and chainmaking factories were the scenes I grew up with there too. (almost entirely gone now... just shopping centres (malls.) or service industry jobs.)

("The Black Country" is the other side of the midlands to Stoke, but arguably even more industrialised, hence the name. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Black_Country
)


Following on from this, I know Away especially talks about the industrial landscapes of their youths, and the artworks and lyrical themes often recall this...


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Maldororz
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posted April 30, 2007 10:36     Profile for Maldororz   Email Maldororz     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Jonquière (Voivod's home town) is very English looking, with small english-style neighbourghoods and a huge aluminium (aluminum?) factory.


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NightSod
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posted April 30, 2007 12:42     Profile for NightSod   Email NightSod     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Thanks Maldororz.

Yes, look at that...

Growing up in amongst that, being an artist, loving scifi, prog, punk and metal - how could you not be VOIVOD!?


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ShredTilDead
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Member # 392

posted April 30, 2007 12:47     Profile for ShredTilDead   Email ShredTilDead     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
> Comic relief is provided by beer-related interjections courtesy of our drinking friends

Which just goes to prove that alcohol, not English, is the true universal language!

--------------------

My head explodes, my ears ring, I can't remember just where I've been.


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ShredTilDead
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Member # 392

posted April 30, 2007 12:57     Profile for ShredTilDead   Email ShredTilDead     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
> ("The Black Country" is the other side of the midlands to Stoke, but arguably even more industrialised, hence the name. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Black_Country
)

I never knew that area had a name. Sheesh...if only I'd known beforehand, or paid more attention, I could've avoided a nasty shock. But then again, clues abound if one pays attention: I always wondered why that song by Led Zeppelin was called "Black Country Woman", for instance.

Since we're talking about industrial/ugly areas, look up Anaconda, Montana. Short story: Huge copper mining operation, right next to the town. Mine closes in the '70s, leaving a gargantuan hole in the ground, hundreds of feet deep. They quit pumping water out of the pit 20 years ago, and now it's a stinky brackish lake. Birds that land on the surface die within minutes.

Look up Anaconda, MT on Google Earth, etc., for pictures. (ugh)

--------------------

My head explodes, my ears ring, I can't remember just where I've been.


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KnickerZohnonnof
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Member # 272

posted April 30, 2007 13:30     Profile for KnickerZohnonnof   Email KnickerZohnonnof     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Just a few comments...

Most people should realise that the EU is run for the interest of the French and Germans.

Most people in the UK were worse off after decimalisation (the metrification of our money) - and the the imperial system served the world very nicely for centuries.

Until we joined the EU we had thriving farming and fishing industries. Now, both are decimated thanks to the Common Agricultural Policy, which favours the French, and the Common Fisheries Policy, which basically handed the French, Spanish and Dutch most of our fishing grounds on a plate.

YES, GET US THE FUCK OUT OF EUROPE. THEY NEED US MORE THAN WE NEED THEM.

If it wasn't for the UK the whole of Europe would be under fascist rule.

The majority who smoke buy rolled tobacco because it's cheaper and *cough* not as bad as ready made cigarettes. Oh, and possibly for mixing with slightly happier varieties of tobacco

The UK has one of the strongest currencies in the world at present.

The UK is a cripplingly expensive place to live in if you happen to earn below 'average wages' - allegedly £24k/year.

I wouldn't buy a taco bell unless you threatened to make me eat a Mickey D if I didn't. No, actually I'd rather grill my own arm and eat it.

It's you yanks that can't speak English, remember your ancestors moved there???

Under age drinking is a severe problem now in the UK. It needs to be addressed and fast.

The US dollar isn't worth shit because the US President has fucked the economy in the ass. Without lubrication.

Finally, if you look in any country you will find your fair share of 'sea hags', but once you come across a beautiful English girl nothing else really measures up

PS: Welcome back K

--------------------

Hail Santa...


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Luna
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posted April 30, 2007 16:31     Profile for Luna   Email Luna     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by shargraves:
Oh dear - thats where you "aim for" when you pull out.

haha...but not always.

Love this thread...definitely need to get over there. Perhaps for a honeymoon.

--------------------

What the fuck is wrong with drinking tea?


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Head Villain
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posted April 30, 2007 16:35     Profile for Head Villain   Email Head Villain     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by shargraves:
Oh dear - thats where you "aim for" when you pull out.

Also known as a tramp stamp. It defines a woman as "easy" argh!


Damn, so I shouldn't get the Nothingface spider over my butt then??

--------------------

String em up


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