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Jake Freddrickson held up the line at the nearby Citgo, so I followed the fucked home and help up a baseball bat over his head. The stick legged mulefaced fucknugget didn't have any shit worth stealing in his house, so I threw a bunch of folding tables at him and then fell out his bedroom window because I swear to god the gravity in that room was all fucked up and maybe it was the humidity or something, but I couldn't see straight and I swore I thought his window was a big fucking plate of BBQ chicken and canned peaches. AND NO, I wasn't seeing that shit because I had been drinking my specialty home-brewed Yablonski Reserve beer I've been making lately. I've been boiling up my own beer these days because the cops said I should get a hobby or else I'll keep ending up in the C Cell like I do every other goddamn day of my life, so I started my own microbrewery. I don't need no sissy books to tell me what equipment and shit I need to make beer, so I've been putting yeast and carbonated water and pure alcohol into my bathtub and then dropping a car battery into it for an hour or so. It's really good shit, although it makes your eyes turn blue and you can't feel anything below your neck after one drink, which is a testament to my brewery skill

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Originally posted by Nuclear Vampire:
I thought I was the only one who knew who Cliff Yablonski was! Some of the guys here at work and I just love that part of the Something Awful site. One night I spent about 2 hours reading all the captions listening to music. My eyes were sore from staring at my screen and my face was sore from laughing! Fuck, my existance is pathetic.

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