The chorus of Ravenous Medicine will haunt me for years to come, sounding as it does like that buzzing, ringing sound you get if you stick your fingers in a wall socket. Just because the whole album stinks doesn't mean you can get away with offerings like track 7, Order Of The Blackguards - I'm still reeling from the onslaught of what sounds like my grandfather trying to fart through a tuba.

In fact, there's no excuse for people buying this and taking it into their homes to tortute their innocent children.

If you still like this crap, go buy it on amazon or something."

We should ban things like track two, Warriors Of Ice from ever being played on public radio. Oh? We have? Well, I'm starting a campaign to ban it from being played in private too. You've probably guessed that I don't like Voivod very much. It's due to being assaulted by things like a coked-up Andrew Lloyd-Webber writing a never-ending stream of musical obscenities dribbling through my ears and out onto the carpet, or Blower as it is known on the back of CD. Live For Violence isn't that bad. Ha ha. Got you. It's just a tiny bit worse than, say, the sound of the sort of hold music that loses customers not to your competitors but to the undertakers.

Like my four year old's aborted attempts at sex with a panda, track 9, Nuclear War is only really listenable after carefully inserting your fists into your ears. Don't worry about getting them out again - there's more on this album you'll want to not hear too.

In fact, I feel violated from just having to discuss this stuff with you.