HELLO ALL YOU NUTHEADS!I'm baaaaack!
My ventures into Iraq didnt go as well as planned,
but over all i had a wonderfull time with some of the
best buddies one could hope to hang out with!
They didnt like my idea to outfit the Iraqi Army with
Green, Poofy, Pirate Shirts and Bandanna's.
Bummer, since i brought boxes and boxes of the stuff.
Saddam DID like my Acid-filled Water Baloon idea though!
He smiled and laughed just before i was quickly escorted out.
(Maybe he was embarrased when his Moustache fell off.)
The Tour they gave me of all the Government Buildings
sure was nice! I think that someone was shooting at me though,
because just after i left each building, it was blown to bits!
I cant imagine why someone would shoot at me. How rude!
The Tour of all the Torture Chambers was killer!
They even let me try out some of the devices!
That Electrical thingy sure made my hair stand straight up
and the Bone-Puller Bed of Nails was a hoot!
My back feels so much better now.
They smiled and laughed. A good time was had by all.
Then we got to see the Weapons of Mass Destruction Plant.
A HUGE Facility with a big neon sign out front that says..
"Saddam Weapons of Mass Destruction Plant"
There was also some signs that said "Warning! Gas Mask Area!"
but the group i was with ran out of Gas Masks
and i had to do without one. Its funny, but the place smelled
just like a Winsconsin Cheese Factory. Stinky!
Then they let me operate the Anthrax sifter equipment!
That was fun. I spilled some though, and had to sweep it up.
How silly of me. But everyone was in good spirits and my Iraqi
Tour guides smiled and laughed under theyre protective gear.
A good time was had by all.
Next stop was the Nuclear Research Facility. Also with a big
neon sign that read.."Saddam Nuclear Research Facility."
I got to go into the room that has all the glowing Rods!
They said that the pool of water was a heated one and to go ahead
and have a swim, which i did. That was sure nice of them, but
oddly nobody would join me. They just stayed behind the protective
glass smiling and laughing and having a good time.
That pool was a bit hot for my tastes though and i didnt stay long.
After visiting a few other really cool places, it was time to go.
My Tour Guides were so nice! They gave me an Iraqi Royal Guard Uniform,
an AK-47, and a big Iraq Flag...just before dropping me off in the desert.
They said to start walking in a South-West direction and that someone
would soon be by to pick me up.
This was definitely a Vacation to remember. Such nice people those guys were.
That Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf guy was such a riot!
Always cracking jokes and shooting his gun in the air. hehehe!
He even has his own Website! Check it out!...
WeLoveTheItaqiInformationMinister
I got to keep samples fron the Factories and got a nice Tan too!
Hopefully i can go back next year.
Well. Its good to be back here on Voivodfan.com!
Cheers!
posted April 29, 2003 08:22
posted April 29, 2003 10:01
posted April 30, 2003 03:25
