VoivodFan : Into the Depths of Hell

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Topic: Into the Depths of Hell

Mezcalhead
VoivodFan
Member # 26

posted September 10, 2002 17:35

Recently discovered a rather scary and quite nasty septic problem underneath my house. Think there may be some mutant forms with malicious intent lurking in that abyss. ANd I'm not even talking about the spiders. No, I'm not going into specifics. I'm just about to head down there so if I never make it back up its been nice knowing you guys. So I won't die with a guilty conscience let me go ahead and apologize to all the Canadians I insulted in the last post. I sincerely did not mean to its just a subject I get worked up about.

Now let's see, what music to blast.....

Something very dark.......

Yes, Arch Enemy's HEART OF DARKNESSSSSSSSSSS

Ready gasmask(I wish), shovel, channel locks, knife...........

Here we go...

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K
VoivodFan
Member # 6

posted September 10, 2002 18:02

He should have taken his Shotgun as well!
There he goes, only armed with a Knife.
No tellin what is lurking under Mezcalheads House!
Snakes, Bats, Evil Septic Demons, Un-exploded Grenades...who knows!

I will play some Arch Enemy in your memory.
We shall miss you.

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X-D
VoivodFan
Member # 3

posted September 10, 2002 18:08

Yikes!

Best of luck amigo!

PS - If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?

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Nuclear Vampire
VoivodFan
Member # 20

posted September 10, 2002 22:11

I'm surprised he goes ANYWHERE without his gun.

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schroeder
VoivodFan
Member # 5

posted September 11, 2002 05:58

Everybody knows you have to use a knife until the second level when you find the secret box. Unless he's lucky enough to kill the dragon behind the hidden wall, by pushing the secret button to open it. Inside he'll find an arsenal of weapons...however most people don't even get off 3 shots before the monster tears them to shreds.

I get his cd collection but I do wish him luck!

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Mezcalhead
VoivodFan
Member # 26

posted September 11, 2002 06:31

Mission was a success. It all started when that dumb bastard of a dog I own ran under there chasing one of my cats and tore right through the drain pipe. This was about a month ago. Ha, ha.

You can learn a lot about who lived in the house before you by going underneath. I found an incredibly huge pile of razors, a lot of rope, one trailer hitch, and a ton of PBR cans. What does that tell me about the people who lived there? I have no clue. Let's see, first there was the lesbian mailman, then a tennessee hillbilly(that bitch pissed me off so I drove my truck through the front door of her daddy's house), and right before my arrival, a catholic quack who considered himself an artist(he liked to assemble his art from wrecked cars at the scene of an accident).

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K
VoivodFan
Member # 6

posted September 11, 2002 08:37

What the hell is Mezcalhead talking about?

I think some of the Fumes got to him while he was under there!

You should listen to Schroeder next time.
He seems to know a lot about dealing with things under a House. There's got to be a hidden wall under there somewhere.

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h
VoivodFan
Member # 8

posted September 11, 2002 09:18

Great post Schroeder! That cracked me up!

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Slaytanic
VoivodFan
Member # 28

posted September 11, 2002 10:55

I wonder what the hell is a "lesbian mailMAN", anyway...

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Spawn_of_SATAN_666
VoivodFan
Member # 62

posted September 12, 2002 11:23

man i am just glad you didn't find a pagan
alter under there.
what was up with the hillbillie chick(bitch)
i agree with king and schroeder,
oh well i am glad you got to have an adventure
king i will get you, come out come out where ever you are. hehehehehe

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K
VoivodFan
Member # 6

posted September 12, 2002 11:28

Spawn of SATAN...you will NEVER get me!
However...Mezcalhead is quite "Getable."

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Mezcalhead
VoivodFan
Member # 26

posted September 12, 2002 17:23

First about the lesbian mailman. I think she would have been offended had I referred to her as mailwoman. She was one tough lady. I liked and respected her the most out of the entire group.
The hillbilly's story about his ex-girlfriend, according to him, actually happened. I've only met a couple of these folk and one characteristic they all seem to share is that they are fantastic storytellers. Now granted most of these stories are exaggerated but that is part of what makes them so great. This dude told me that he got into a fight with his girlfriend and to get back at her he drove his truck through the front of her daddy's lumber yard office. He was not able to run away because he had the steering wheel mashed into his chest. So they took him to the hospital and then arrested him.

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K
VoivodFan
Member # 6

posted September 12, 2002 18:48

quote:
Originally posted by Mezcalhead:
This dude told me that he got into a fight with his girlfriend and to get back at her he drove his truck through the front of her daddy's lumber yard office. He was not able to run away because he had the steering wheel mashed into his chest. So they took him to the hospital and then arrested him.

But Mezcalhead...
This is the SOUTH! That is an every-day occurrence in any given Southern State!
Knowing what i do & meeting some of the people i have met (Especially in Louisiana)...i believe that Story!

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Layla's Dad
VoivodFan
Member # 48

posted September 12, 2002 21:20

Oh, without a doubt. That type of thing is
kinda regular in the South. There's probably
folks like that everywhere though. My
daughter for one was broadsided by a
man earlier this year & gathered her senses
to chase him down a dirt road when he
drove off from the scene. Luckily, she
ran out of gas before she caught him.
That coulda really got ugly.

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Mezcalhead
VoivodFan
Member # 26

posted September 13, 2002 06:01

Yeah, ya'll are right. But within southern culture there is something absolutely distinct about rural folks from the mountains. I wasn't describing that guy or his stories well enough at all. They have this totally different perspective on life that I believe comes from being so isolated from civilization for so many years.

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K
VoivodFan
Member # 6

posted September 13, 2002 08:38

quote:
Originally posted by Layla's Dad:
My
daughter for one was broadsided by a
man earlier this year & gathered her senses
to chase him down a dirt road when he
drove off from the scene.

COOL! (Not the accident) Rat-Racing out on dirt roads! I used to do that with a buddy of mine when i lived in Indiana. I had a Chevy Nova & would be chasing him in his Pickup Truck. Couldnt see a thing but his dust! Usually, however, the dust would sharply turn left or right...and there went King Kula...right straight OFF the road and into the middle of a Soy field or a Corn field!

"YYYEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAA!!!!"....CRASH!!

He would have to turn around & pull me out of there with some rope.
After repairing the damage, we would go out the next day and do the same thing!

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Layla's Dad
VoivodFan
Member # 48

posted September 14, 2002 07:18

Those dirt roads can be lots of fun for
sure. Its a good thing for Kula that there
ain't too many trees in a soy field. there
may have been damage ya'll couldn't
have repaired. That story reminds of an
idiot I used to run around with named Sam.
Sam used to smoke him a couple hooters
and abuse the shit out of his wife's (early
80's) Mustang. Sam (w/me as his passen-
ger) used to get him a nice head of steam
down a dirt road & snatch that parking
brake handle up & YEEEEEHAAAA-CRASH.
The ensuing spins were well worth the
effort it took to push that Mustang out of
the ditch. PAINKILLER or THE REAL
THING were always playing at deafening
levels during these excursions.

& Mezcal, I definitely know what you mean
about them mountain folk. I used to work
with a guy that grew up in Sand Mountain,
Alabama. This was a primitive. communal,
& VERY spiritual upbringing for him.
These folks are very religious even though
they'll get drunk as hell & will whoop
some ass at the drop of a hat. One night,
probably 4:30 in the morning, I was getting
drunk at this guy's house with more friends,
including 'ol Sam. I was out of character
for myself (like h, I am far from an
aggressive drunk) and made the announcement
to everyone, "I WANT TO BOX!!!" Big
mistake. This guy from Sand Mountain
took me up on the offer. Well, I had sparred
a hundred people and practiced for
hundreds of hours w/martial arts & this
guy jumped at the challenge. Everyone
loads up & drives to my house where all
the boxing gloves, pads, etc. were. Man,
this guy stomped a mudhole in my ass.
He busted my mouth and fucked up my
right eye. Major shiner. A couple days
later, this same guy & I had tickets for
the Falcons-Chiefs game at the Georgia
Dome. Me & him and my shiner head to
Atlanta. Needless to say, every trip to
the beer line resulted in some smartass
making a remark about my eye. Right
next to me was the gentleman from
Sand Mtn. who put it there. AAhhh,
humility.
BTW, Mezcal, you haven't figured out a
way to make it to the Kreator gig have
you?

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Mezcalhead
VoivodFan
Member # 26

posted September 14, 2002 10:02

LD, check your email.

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