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Topic: HOLY JESUS, IS IT SAFE FOR ME TO REPOST HERE YET!?!
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El Indio
VoivodFan
Member # 18
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posted August 17, 2002 01:00
    
Where do I begin? Has it ever ended? Does anyone else know about this!?! For some reason I have been waking up at 4:15 A.M. (P.S.T.) for the last 5 days! "THEY'RE TRYING TO GET AT ME AGAIN!!!" Okay, this morning it was a particularly nasty looking spider trying to crawl across my head. But just before I woke up I thought it was THEY who were attempting to make contact with me again... First I got scared away from that other fansite by none other than Blacker than Blacky and his gin and tonic fueled psychotic ramblings... And then no sooner than I attempted to post a comical message about Voivod going to California (O.K. I admit it, sometimes my jokes work, sometimes they don't!), all hell brakes loose! Next thing I know, some psychotic from Toronto posts this lurid fantasy about crashing a large passenger jet into the "HOLLYWOOD" sign down south! And if that is not enough to freak out someone with an already nervous disposition (What can I say, I come from a family of nervous wrecks. Even our dog is a nervous wreck!), I got into a bad car accident shortly afterwords! Some spaced out dude ran a red light and t-boned the Ol' Love Freighter (The same "boat" which poor old Whore-Hey accidently fell out of - I didn't push him out; I swear!) and put it into dry dock for some lengthy repairs! I guess you can imagine what this would do to a person like me - I WENT INTO HYPER MODE!!! I seriously begin to fear for my own well being! Which made me even worse! "MY GOD I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!! I didn't pass out... Must be my back..." So I decided to skip town for a while and let things cool down. So what did I do? I went up to northern Vancouver Island around the Alert Bay area (which, incidently, is on a separate island - Comorant Island - once the home of the world's largest totem pole!) and out salmon fishing in the Johnson Straits - where Springer the whale lives. We had to bring along my dad's trusty old hunting rifle in case the young orca attempted to rub up against our boat. We may have had to blow the fucker away! Nothing is going to cause us to lose our rigging! Actually killer whales are the last thing which we worry about up there. Extremely thick Fog, rip tides (which cause small whirl pools, large waves, and river like rapids on the ocean - no shit!), wind storms, and very large freighters are more of a concern. I love killer whales, they fuckin rule! If I was a killer whale, you know what I would do? I would eat people. But for some strange reason, they don't. You just gotta respect them for it because believe me, there is ample opportunity for them to do so! Orcas are very intelligent and conscious... Okay, I admit it, I'm weird. It's a calculated risk which I frequently make in order to at least attempt to be funny. Okay, I'm weird anyways - no matter what! But I ain't no terrorist! And I ain't unamerican! Heck, I'm actually a quarter american. Dutch american to be more exact. Some of my ancestors believe it or not, came over here to the new world on (GASP!!!) the Mayflower! No fooling either! I have a bunch of relatives who live around the south eastern Kansas area. My great grandfather once got robbed by none other than Jesse James! Not only that but I have personally made a pilgrimmage to Coffeyville, Kansas to see for my self the aftermath of the ill fated and bloody last run of the dreaded Dalton gang! Not only that, but I have actually set foot in Boot Hill, Dodge City, Kansas and lived to tell about it! Oh Jesus, I'm doing it again! If there is anything which I'm guilty of, it is having a very over active imagination. Which makes me also innocent because I come by it naturally... Social Action 400: "Everyone is a walkin, talkin billboard sign". And no foolin either... It also helps to be fuckin wasted on vodka and malibu and Bacardi Pina Colada Mixers... 
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Mezcalhead
VoivodFan
Member # 26
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posted August 17, 2002 08:35
Indio,A fascinating story. I would have to disagree with Schroeder, you are crazier than Kula. Wait a second, let me think about this. Nope, Schroedman is right. Kula's insanity is near impossible to beat. But you're definitely a contender. Two questions: Is LEGENDS OF THE FALL your favorite movie? and What happened to that totem pole?
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K
VoivodFan
Member # 6
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posted August 17, 2002 10:08
El Indio!!!You are back! Oh, Goody! Hopefully things can get back to NORMAL around here now!  No folks. El Indio is even crazier than i am! I still marvel at his acomplishments and unfortunate incidents with Alien Spiders, Totem Poles, Killer Whales, Whirlpools, Dodging Oil Tankers on the High Seas, Pushing little defenseless Dogs out his 'Love Freighter,' and fighting-off the Crazy people of Kansas!  El Indio is my Hero! I only get to brave Tornadoes, Lightening Storms, Mexicans who cant Drive and of course...Mezcalhead! And i do all that while keeping my collection of Poofy Pirate Shirts Clean and ready for the next Day! 
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nia
VoivodFan
Member # 9
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posted August 21, 2002 00:09
Lol! Yes, you probably are cleaner than many. Actually, what reminded me of how nuts some people on the islands are, especially the now adult children of all the hippies that moved there in the 70's, was a documentary on the CBC last week - 49 Degrees. It's about the surfers who even freak the Californians out with some of the stunts they pull in the frigid water. Surfing aside, the real craziness happens in the scene where there's no waves that day so one of the surfers decides he's going to take a running jump off of a cliff that must be at least 150 feet up - just for something to do. Of course it's a classic jackass move, the cliff juts quite far out into the water. His friends video tape him as he takes a run to the edge and leaps with his arms flailing - and you can see there's no way in hell he's going to make it, he lands about four feet from the water's edge and ends up with a punctured lung and some broken ribs and stuff. As he's being loaded into the ambulance he croaks "go big or go home." Also, there's the sea lions that chase them during mating season which just makes them laugh their asses off as they retell the story of someone who's got an angry 500 lb. sea lion behind him and is scrambling madly for shore while they scream "paddle faster, he's gonna get ya" ... See Indio, you're not crazy.
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In regards to a recent post which speculated about the true identity of various people including myself... There was an old wild west saying:
posted August 17, 2002 03:57
